A break and reflection

I recently (sorry I started writing this a week ago) returned from my last race of this track season. I decided I would seize the opportunity to run one more race in Indianapolis, and race 5K on the track. I flew to Indianapolis with my teammate Meghan Peyton, and then waited all day to run at 11:29 PM! To say the least, it was a rather long day! I felt like a caged animal; it was so hot outside, you didn’t want to go for a stroll for fear that your energy would be zapped and our hotel had little around it. The joke was that we had the option of either going to Denny’s, Waffle House, Super America, or stay in the hotel room. I would try to settle in the hotel room, then wander the long hallways, then return and read, then wander the hallways, then journal, take a nap, read, watch a movie, then wander the hallways…You get the point. In retrospect, it really doesn’t sound so bad to have an entire day of having to do nothing. It really is a unique opportunity to get to devote an entire day to preparing for an event that you care so much about and try to do it to the best of your ability. Despite the anxiety and pit in your stomach, I really do want to cherish race preparation and this season of my life.

            The race did finally arrive. Unfortunately it was not ideal 5K racing conditions being over 80 degrees and very humid. I went into the race with a goal of running under 16 minutes, which I think I am capable of on the right day, but ended up running 16.37, a few seconds off of my PR. I was actually proud of my mindset during the race, but very frustrated that I did not run a PR. I so desired some indication that my investment in this year was all worth it.  I wanted a strong indication that continuing to train post-collegiately would lead to leaps and bounds of improvement, but this was not the case this year, and especially difficult to expect after a stress fracture. As you probably can imagine, this naturally led to a lot of tears and reflection on my year.

First, I acknowledge that this year has been a transitional year. I am officially one year out of college, and enjoying/struggling to figure out how to live in “the real world.” Nonetheless, I have made ends meet (with the help and support of so many) and have become a much stronger runner after putting in many more miles than ever before. I have not even been training with my new coach, Dennis Barker, for an entire year, and should expect some time for transitioning and an eventual pay off for all of the strength work.

Second, despite my disappointment, I want to celebrate what good has come out of this year. I did run a small PR in the 5K after only running for four weeks after my stress fracture, and then was very near it on a very hot and humid day. Also, I want to celebrate that this year I completed many long and challenging workouts that I have never done in the past. I know I am getting stronger. Finally, I have to celebrate that had a group of people to train with that make it easy to love the sport and to want to continue to improve and compete at a high level.

Third, and probably the most important question I have to ask is: “Is this the direction in which I believe God wants me to continue? And am I becoming more like Christ in this endeavor?” Sirach 33:12 says, “Some he blesses and makes great, some he sanctifies and draws to himself.”  Of course I dream and want to be the one that God makes great, but ultimately I want to draw close to the Lord. I truly believe that each day that I am training and competing, whether it is a great and encouraging workout, a humbling blow that I didn’t reach a goal, a carefree run with people that I love, etc., I do feel as though I am being drawn to the Lord. Thus, for now, I know that I want to continue to train and compete.

What does this look like? For the sake of brevity, I will share more in the future about how I plan to tweak some components of my training and lifestyle. Logistically, I do have some semblance of a plan for the fall. I recently got a part time teaching job in the fall at St. Louis Park as a Geometry teacher. So, yes, I am officially MISS YETZER! It seems to be the perfect opportunity to have some structure in my life and to get to pour some thought, energy, and love into a classroom in the afternoon and still meet with my training partners in the morning. I am very excited about the chance to get to do two things that I love!

In the mean time, I am taking a few weeks of being a “normal person.” I took about a week off of no running and just “playing.” I have been going for bike rides, hiking, doing yoga, etc without worries that it will affect my training. It has been a lot of fun and it is refreshing me so that I am ready to start training again soon. I plan to get a good summer base and hit the roads this fall.

Some of my great support Crew!
(Annie, Dan, Me, Cheever)

I want to thank you all for your continued love and support. This week, particularly tonight, I will be supporting my two teammates and best friends, Jamie Cheever and Heather Kampf, as they run in the Olympic Trials! Later this week Gabriele Anderson will be racing as well! Good luck to you guys! Watching the trials and the fierce competitiveness in each runner is always a source of inspiration. I know my teammates will run with courage!