Happy New Year! I can hardly believe that the year of 2012 has ended! Life truly does seem to accelerate each year! This year I feel like I was thrown more into the “adult” world as I began teaching part time and continue to wrestle with what my future holds… I laugh at the hours I spent as a child playing House - pretending to be grown-ups with my sisters. My play life did not resemble the life I currently live. It was a fantasy; I could decide I wanted an event to happen in my life, and then I would make it happen. I could decide I wanted to take a break from “life” and I could pick it up right where I left it. Life was good:) Although I could dictate everything that happened in my “play” life, it didn’t include the depth of emotions that reality brings. There was no struggle in trials or joy in their triumph. When I could dictate my own life, I had no concept of the profound love of God or my need for him, nor the extreme joy that accompanies perseverance.
As many know, I am currently house-sitting for 6 months with my wonderful friend Jamie Cheever. We are in charge of fighting off all of the bad guys and taking care of a bird named Willow and a snake! There is little to do with the snake besides feeding it frozen rats, which is a story in itself, but Willow requires a lot more attention. Willow is a very social bird, so she likes to be around us. She only knows three words, “Hello,” a loud and startling “SQWAAAK,” and when she is really needing attention an incredible high pitched “SQUEAL.” Cheever and I decided when we first moved in that we would teach her to say at least one new phrase. After great debate, we decided on the phrase “I love you.” Every time we greeted her, rather than saying “Hi Willow,” we said, “I love you.” I expected it to catch on fairly quickly- I tend to be overly optimistic, but of course she did not immediately mimic us. After a while, I thought it was a hopeless cause, but I continued anyway, but to no avail. This December the owners came home because they are planning to take Willow back with them to Florida for the next few months. The night before they returned, believe it or not, Willow finally said, “I love you!” We were elated- at least I was- Jamie does a better job at containing her enthusiasm than me. Although it is such a simple thing, I recognize that having to wait for something and fight for it is far more rewarding than getting what you want right away. If Willow had complied immediately with our wishes, I would have been excited for a moment, but I sure wouldn’t have anything to blog about…!
I feel like a hypocrite writing much of this, but I hope that my attitude continues to move toward believing that fighting to pursue my passion will be fruitful. I believe that as I fight to pursue the passions that God has given me, whether or not they are successful according to the world, they are giving me a purpose and helping me to become the woman that God created me to be. This year, I have certainly been humbled, but at the same time learned that it is ok to “fail” because God has never left me and that I am still fully loved by him and those around me. I still hate to fail, but I currently feel free to continue to take risks because life does not end if I make a mistake. In fact, as much as it hurts to be vulnerable, I think it is the best opportunity to grow and evaluate in order to make changes. I plan to persevere just as I did with Willow and hope that some day I will get to celebrate a victory, but if not here on Earth, I truly believe that there is a greater victory to be won!
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33