Pressing On

Well folks, it’s Tuesday afternoon and I had a little bit of time to reflect on my first Ten mile race this past Sunday. People say it’s helpful to set three levels of goals: a lofty dream goal, a reasonable goal, and a highly achievable goal. I can at least say that I hit my highly achievable goal down to the second; I crossed the line at 60 minutes exactly. Someone asked me if I had planned that, and I promise I didn’t. I was dreaming of running a little bit faster but despite my disappointment I learned a lot and have a few reflections:

First, preparing for the race was a blast. I used to dread the feeling of race anxiety and the idea of wasting my life away being nervous. Now I consider it a huge blessing feeling the anticipation and preparing for an event where I get to work with my heart, mind, and soul. The night before the race I stayed in St. Paul; between trips to the bathroom and pretending to read, I spent most of the night praying time would pass so I could go to bed and wake up ready to race. The Ten Mile started at 7:02 AM, so morning came very early. I awoke at 4:30am and felt like I was the only soul awake. I ate breakfast immediately, had a cup of coffee, did a short bible study and then went for a walk/jog. The air was still and crisp, the moon was bright, and I felt privileged and ready to go. My coach Dennis picked me up and we were off to the hotel where the Elite athletes gathered. I was amazed by how calm and collected everyone was. A large group of former Minnesota athletes warmed up together through the dark the early morning. I found myself relaxed and enjoying the prerace routine. Soon enough it was time to report to the line, I was ready to go.

“Runners take your mark… Go!”

We were off! I was taken a little off guard how fast we started. I wish I could tell you our first mile split but I didn’t wear a watch. As with a lot of races it’s hard not to be fast the first mile, but it’s especially true for the TC10 as it’s mostly downhill (unlike the rest of the course). My plan was to start out relaxed but unfortunately it didn’t feel as easy as I had hoped. I decided I should settle down a little, but before I knew it, the pack was gone…and I was in no man’s land. Long story short, I had my eyes on the pack the rest of the time and ran almost 8 miles by myself…. It was a pretty long race.

Results: 30th/ 60:00/ 6 min/mile (Place/ Time/ Pace)

People ask if my race was a mental failure, and I will be the first to admit that there were moments that I was a “mental midget” (a term my former coach Sarah Hesser likes to use). But I also am willing to say that Sunday was simply not my day. Thanks to a discussion with my sister, I think I can conclude that when I am at the correct fitness level, being mentally tough will come too.

So how did I respond? Well, first I felt a little numb, then I felt dumb (because I was far behind the group of people that I was racing), and later that day I felt confused… (I can’t think of another word ending in “umb”). I questioned what I was doing; How am I to make this my future if I am working really hard, and not even close to my competition? After calming down a little, I realized (with the wise counsel of many) that this early in the next phase of my running, I don’t yet have a broad enough body of work to evaluate if I should or shouldn’t run professionally. I firmly believe this is what I want to do and transition to new training takes time.

My theme for the next few months is the verse James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds. Because trials lead to perseverance, and perseverance will finish its work so that you will be mature and complete lacking nothing.” I will persevere. I will trust that with perseverance in my training, I will grow physically, spiritually, and mentally, and I will be mature, complete and ready to battle when racing.

I hope this blog can serve as support to anyone feeling discouraged or in a state of frustration. I encourage you to persevere, because God uses your situation to promote your reliance on him, making you mature and lacking nothing

Press on!

Nomad

I am finally writing my first entry to this blog. To be completely honest, I intended to start about three months ago, but am finally doing it because I have my first post-collegiate race this weekend: the Twin Cities Ten Miler! (Yes there is a TEN in there…)

The name of the blog is Planet Yetzer, inspired by Jeff Metzdorff, my new brother-in-law. He claims that the way that my family lives its life is a little unique- to say it in the nicest way possible, thus calling the world we live in: Planet Yetzer. In this blog I hope to give you brief glimpses into my mind and the happenings on Planet Yetzer.

A little about my present circumstances: I graduated this spring from the University of Minnesota with a math teaching degree and a desire to continue running. Some people are relieved to graduate because they are ready for a much-needed running break, but I am not ready to be done. I still love it and hope I can eventually compete at a National and International level. So, after college, I decided I wanted to become a Professional Runner! My dad put it well when he called me on my last day of class and said, “Congratulations! You are officially graduated, and now, officially Unemployed.” (Now, this is only partially true because I do have a part time job at Run N Fun and work as a math tutor).

Since graduation, I have become a woman without a home, a nomad if you will. This has come as quite the change from living in the same bedroom in “Bierman Ghetto” for the last four years. According to the free dictionary online (Apparently my college degree did not teach me how to find good references), a nomad is “a person with fixed residence who roams about; a wanderer.” I remember learning about nomads in Elementary school and thinking that it was not the most practical lifestyle, but I guess you never know where you will find yourself! I officially live in Lakeville, Minnesota with my parents. Unofficially, however, I also reside in St. Paul at my sister and brother-in-law’s home, in Minneapolis at the Kampf residence, and once in a while in Dinkytown on my old teammates’ couches (A huge thank-you to all of you for accommodating me). I drive a Mini-Van and it is always stocked with life’s necessities: my bike, a change of clothes, a loaf of bread, peanut butter, running shoes, racing flats, a book, my bible, and a yoga mat. I always am prepared just in case I end up spending the night at someone’s house or have a random chunk of time between my next appointment, meeting, or practice. I have also mastered taking naps in parks on my yoga mat, but I am not sure what I am going to do as the weather turns a little colder (Total Planet Yetzer move claims Jeff).

I also found myself a bit nomadic when it comes to a team and coach. This spring I had awesome college coaches, Gary Wilson and Sarah Hesser. After deciding that I wanted to continue to run, I needed to find a new team and a coach. During my search, my sister Bekah coached me. It was a gift to share my training with someone that cares so much about me and believes in what I am trying to do. She has a great knowledge base and I would recommend her to anyone seeking a coach. My search ended a few months later when I was allowed the privilege of training under Coach Dennis Barker, with the goal of eventually joining his stable of athletes at Team USA Minnesota.

I have now run two months with Coach Barker and have been working on building a strong base through increasing my miles and incorporating a lot of Threshold and Sub-threshold workouts. The first few practices with Dennis were extremely humbling. I remember finishing workouts so far behind everyone else they were ready to cool down immediately upon my completion. Needless to say, the cool down felt like another workout! Fortunately, Dennis and the other runners are incredibly positive and patient, and I have found that some of the workouts are becoming more manageable and I am making progress.

After wandering the roads training, it is time to finally run a race. When Bekah was coaching me, she suggested I seek an elite entry to the Twin Cities Ten Mile. Only after signing up did I realize that TC10 was the host of the 2011 USATF Ten Mile National Championships! Needless to say, I was not all that confident about racing a TEN mile especially as I specialized the Mile in college. When I started training with Dennis, I didn’t mention that I was registered and figured that I would have to (or get to) tell the race director that I wouldn’t be racing the TC10. Eventually I emailed Dennis to inform him I was signed up, secretly hoping he would suggest I not participate in the race. Unbeknownst to me, he had called me earlier that day and told me to sign up! So, although I am intimidated by the distance and competition, I am also grateful for the opportunity. If I really want to be competitive as a professional runner, it’s time that I get in there and believe that I belong in this field. This morning, I was staying at Jeff and Bekah’s house and contemplated wearing a watch to check my splits. Jeff said, “Don’t wear a watch! Just Race! Us Americans are so distracted by our splits and forget we are stepping to the line to race others!” Then I went to practice and Dennis suggested that I just run based on feel and not wear a watch. So…Here I go. No watch, just race. I plan to start smart, and then hang tough the last few miles and compete.

It should be a fun morning; you can come watch the Ten Mile, which starts around 7am. The women start first and the men will chase us! It is a pretty exciting field. After the conclusion of the Ten Mile you can watch the Marathon that starts at 8am.

Although I never imagined calling myself a nomad, this next phase of my life has been a blessing and an adventure. I find that I have less control of my life and although it is uncomfortable and humbling, I feel like I am forced to be dependent on God, which is my ultimate goal. I am excited to get to share with you what God is doing in my life and the beginning of my journey as a professional runner. Good luck to everyone racing this weekend!

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord.”

Colossians 3:23