Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

I am getting ready for my first race in a very long time - first cross country race in a very very long time! I am racing at Club Cross in Lexington, Kentucky with my awesome team- Run N Fun! The weekend has already been a blast getting the chance to travel with a great group of runners that share a similar passion; some old friends, and some new. Honestly, it is hard for me to step to the line when I know I am not in my best fitness. I have a poster in my classroom that has a quote of Babe Ruth that says, “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” I cannot let my pride keep me from doing something that I love, just because of fear that my performance might hurt my ego a little bit! The course is going to be muddy because it has been raining the last two days, so times will not be fast – and we will all get very dirty! Thus, as I step to the line I am free from any time expectation and I can just run the race marked out before me in freedom. I am hoping that this race will be the start of many healthy races to come and remind me of how much I love to race, spend time with great people, and be free to be me! I will let you know how it goes!

Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

"Fall Back"

Today we set our clocks so that they “Fall back” one hour; we got one extra hour to sleep, and I will take that extra hour to reflect on this fall. This fall I have officially become Miss Yetzer at St. Louis Park High School, begun the humbling transition back into running after a long injury, moved from Lakeville (parent’s home) to Bloomington (With Jamie Cheever - house sitting until April), and continued to grow and learn the reality that my life will never and should never follow the pattern of anyone around me.

It has been a surprise to me that my injury kept me from running from June until September and is still requiring transition. As I mentioned in my previous blog, my latest conviction is to train a little more conservatively in order to stay healthy and run consistently – this means a few less miles and more cross training. My sister, Rebekah Metzdorff, is now coaching me. I will write more about our relationship in the future, but I am very excited to work with her, as I know I will communicate well with her and I trust her knowledge- with a Sports Science education and coaching experience at Hamline University and with other individuals. My tendency is to always want to do more, and I already feel like Bekah is holding me accountable to train more conservatively and to trust her.

I love to work hard and have it set in my mind that in order to be the best I can be, I have to do more. I am currently wrestling with the fact that my body did not respond kindly to that sort of mentality last year and it is pretty clear that I need to do something different. This fall I have been praying to understand if this means that I will never will be a professional runner, if it is time to move on, if I need to persevere, if I just need train with a different attitude and see where it goes while teaching, if I should just run for fun, if I should use my gift to coach, etc.? I catch myself praying about specific details because I want to know the end result.

I recall Annie, my sister, talking on a run last winter about how she wants to know exactly what she is supposed to be pursuing in her life- she wants the actions in her life to be like a dagger aimed at its intended target. I think we can all relate to the lack of direction we may feel at times. Recently I have been convicted that my concern about the little questions and details are keeping me from aiming at my actual target- I want everything I do to be pointed at glorifying God- growing closer to him, sharing his love with others, and worshipping him.

The people closest to me will probably roll their eyes because they are sick of hearing my excitement about the attributes of Noah that have recently inspired me. I grew up knowing the story of Noah’s Arc, but after reading it again this week, I was struck by Noah’s patience, perseverance, and ability to live a life set apart from the rest of the world.

First, Noah built the arc for 120 years… That is a long time and he was ridiculed for it, but he did it with faith because he believed he should- I doubt I would do that because I question if I should do something if it fails after a week, let alone 120 years! This fall I am not being ridiculed for my training, but in my head I want to be training more because this is the pattern I have always believed would lead to success. Instead, I am training moderately, and sharing my energy and passion with my Geometry students. It doesn’t make sense that this is going to make me the best runner, but I feel excited about teaching and that God keeps saying, “Just focus on what I have given you and trust me.”

Second, I was especially inspired by Noah’s patience; when Noah and his family were in the boat for about a year, the waters finally were receding. He sent out a dove multiple times to see if it would return with any sign of land. The dove finally returned with an olive branch- representing a sign of life. Even though Noah received that sign, he still waited a week after he received the olive branch until God told him to come out! I know that as soon as I saw the olive branch I would celebrate and take that as a sign and get out of that boat!

I am praying that I can apply some of this to my own life. I want to be like Noah- to be a patient and faithful woman. Even if I don’t completely understand every detail of my life or the end results, if I keep my dagger pointed towards Christ, no matter what I do, it will have a purpose and that he will direct my steps. I will continue to work hard at training, at teaching, etc. and trust that my life doesn’t have to perfectly resemble those of others. Perhaps some day I will change my mind, but for now, I feel like God is asking me to simply take steps forward with the peace of knowing he will direct them. Will I obey God and be like Noah and build a boat for 120 years even if the details don’t make sense? Will I continue to seek him and pursue the opportunities that he places before me- even if they don’t seem to align with what other great runners have done - and trust that God will bless it? (Whether that blessing means running success, becoming the woman he created me to be, or both, I do not know).

Francis Chan said, “Our greatest fear shouldn’t be of failing, but at being good at something that doesn’t have a purpose.” I hope that no matter what I do, I will get better at worrying less about the details and the end results, and will patiently focus my energy at knowing him and joyfully pursuing the little steps immediately in front of me for his glory.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but God directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Summer Vacation is Over - and so is my blog hiatus:)

It has been way too long since I have last posted. I apologize. I guess my excuse is Summer Vacation. Not by my choice, the last month has been a break from running due to a hamstring and back injury. Typically when I am injured, I am able to cross train like crazy, but with this injury, I was forced to take a complete break from most forms of activity. This was very challenging, as I love to be active, especially in the summer, but probably very healthy for me. For a while, my theme was Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” Gradually I have been able to add various forms of cross training. It is amazing what a gift physical activity is, when you can’t do it. The week that I did very little activity, I could relate to why people that get out of the habit of exercising think they don’t have enough energy for it. I felt exhausted do nothing…perhaps it was a combination of no exercise and a good case of disappointment. Anyway, I believe I am on the mend. I acknowledge that I have not kept you updated, but I am going to write as though I have kept my blog updated and you are informed, just like old friends pick up where they left off.

The current theme of my life is moving forward; Pray, take a step forward, keep praying, and take another step. Within this, there is going to be joy and suffering. St. Augustine said, “If we never give up, we will be winners.” He was referring to our faith and our reward in Heaven, and I think it applies to the various components of our lives. For me, through a lot of prayer, particularly when I am swimming in the pool, I have been convinced that despite my injuries, I still love to run and to compete, and if I can figure out how to run injury free for a couple of years and stick with it, I will be a winner. Perhaps being a winner means being an Olympian, perhaps it means learning how to deal with disappointment and clinging to God no matter what, perhaps it means both and all that will fall in between these extremes. I wish I could say I know the ending, but that would keep me from seeking. So, I am not giving up until my passion for this strange sport is gone and I am convinced that God has something else for me.

I am indeed moving forward, but this doesn’t mean that I will continue moving forward the exact same way. I have not established my exact plan for trying to stay healthy, but I do know that I want to be a lot more conservative in my training. If I can step back and look at the big picture, I know that I will thrive more in the long run if I have slower yet continuous progress, rather than interrupted training phases. I plan to gradually build miles until I am healthy, and then run with lower mileage than I ran this year and with a little less frequent intensity.  I wish I could always remember the big picture in running and my life in general. The reality is, life would be a lot healthier and bring a lot less anxiety if I could live with patience and insight. When I doubt arriving at the destination that seems so far away, I am trying to remind myself that my ultimate goal is to bring glory to God in all things, and that he has a good plan, and that his plan is the best no matter what I think the “best plan” is.

Last week I was feeling sorry for myself when I read Psalm 97. Part of it really encouraged me. “ The Lord is King, the Most High over all the earth…The Mountains melt like wax before the Lord.” I am moving forward with my life, with a confidence that my God can do anything- Even melt mountains!

A break and reflection

I recently (sorry I started writing this a week ago) returned from my last race of this track season. I decided I would seize the opportunity to run one more race in Indianapolis, and race 5K on the track. I flew to Indianapolis with my teammate Meghan Peyton, and then waited all day to run at 11:29 PM! To say the least, it was a rather long day! I felt like a caged animal; it was so hot outside, you didn’t want to go for a stroll for fear that your energy would be zapped and our hotel had little around it. The joke was that we had the option of either going to Denny’s, Waffle House, Super America, or stay in the hotel room. I would try to settle in the hotel room, then wander the long hallways, then return and read, then wander the hallways, then journal, take a nap, read, watch a movie, then wander the hallways…You get the point. In retrospect, it really doesn’t sound so bad to have an entire day of having to do nothing. It really is a unique opportunity to get to devote an entire day to preparing for an event that you care so much about and try to do it to the best of your ability. Despite the anxiety and pit in your stomach, I really do want to cherish race preparation and this season of my life.

            The race did finally arrive. Unfortunately it was not ideal 5K racing conditions being over 80 degrees and very humid. I went into the race with a goal of running under 16 minutes, which I think I am capable of on the right day, but ended up running 16.37, a few seconds off of my PR. I was actually proud of my mindset during the race, but very frustrated that I did not run a PR. I so desired some indication that my investment in this year was all worth it.  I wanted a strong indication that continuing to train post-collegiately would lead to leaps and bounds of improvement, but this was not the case this year, and especially difficult to expect after a stress fracture. As you probably can imagine, this naturally led to a lot of tears and reflection on my year.

First, I acknowledge that this year has been a transitional year. I am officially one year out of college, and enjoying/struggling to figure out how to live in “the real world.” Nonetheless, I have made ends meet (with the help and support of so many) and have become a much stronger runner after putting in many more miles than ever before. I have not even been training with my new coach, Dennis Barker, for an entire year, and should expect some time for transitioning and an eventual pay off for all of the strength work.

Second, despite my disappointment, I want to celebrate what good has come out of this year. I did run a small PR in the 5K after only running for four weeks after my stress fracture, and then was very near it on a very hot and humid day. Also, I want to celebrate that this year I completed many long and challenging workouts that I have never done in the past. I know I am getting stronger. Finally, I have to celebrate that had a group of people to train with that make it easy to love the sport and to want to continue to improve and compete at a high level.

Third, and probably the most important question I have to ask is: “Is this the direction in which I believe God wants me to continue? And am I becoming more like Christ in this endeavor?” Sirach 33:12 says, “Some he blesses and makes great, some he sanctifies and draws to himself.”  Of course I dream and want to be the one that God makes great, but ultimately I want to draw close to the Lord. I truly believe that each day that I am training and competing, whether it is a great and encouraging workout, a humbling blow that I didn’t reach a goal, a carefree run with people that I love, etc., I do feel as though I am being drawn to the Lord. Thus, for now, I know that I want to continue to train and compete.

What does this look like? For the sake of brevity, I will share more in the future about how I plan to tweak some components of my training and lifestyle. Logistically, I do have some semblance of a plan for the fall. I recently got a part time teaching job in the fall at St. Louis Park as a Geometry teacher. So, yes, I am officially MISS YETZER! It seems to be the perfect opportunity to have some structure in my life and to get to pour some thought, energy, and love into a classroom in the afternoon and still meet with my training partners in the morning. I am very excited about the chance to get to do two things that I love!

In the mean time, I am taking a few weeks of being a “normal person.” I took about a week off of no running and just “playing.” I have been going for bike rides, hiking, doing yoga, etc without worries that it will affect my training. It has been a lot of fun and it is refreshing me so that I am ready to start training again soon. I plan to get a good summer base and hit the roads this fall.

Some of my great support Crew!
(Annie, Dan, Me, Cheever)

I want to thank you all for your continued love and support. This week, particularly tonight, I will be supporting my two teammates and best friends, Jamie Cheever and Heather Kampf, as they run in the Olympic Trials! Later this week Gabriele Anderson will be racing as well! Good luck to you guys! Watching the trials and the fierce competitiveness in each runner is always a source of inspiration. I know my teammates will run with courage!

A penny for your thoughts

Well, I am headed home from Indianapolis. When I had envisioned this trip home, I thought that I would be celebrating that I had a new PR and qualified for the Trials. Unfortunately, I cannot deliver such joyous news. Last night I ran my third race, and again ran a 4.20… They say, “Third time’s a charm,” but this was not the case last night. For now, I am not sure what is next. I may try to get one more track race in, or I may hit the roads and do some road races. I will let you know shortly! I am prayerfully considering what is best. I currently am a little sick, so I am hoping that I can quickly get better in the comfort of my own bed and be ready to race soon.

No matter what, I have to continue to believe that God is still good. Not only this, but God has what is best for me. The morning of the race, I had read in Mark about the widow who places only a penny in the offering. People scoff at her “minimal” offering. Jesus rebukes them and praises her, for she has just offered all that she has. All the Lord wants is our best. I don’t always understand why I run, or what competing has to offer the Lord, but I want to be like the widow, and offer up whatever I have for his glory. For this weekend, I offered what I had. This does not mean that I am content with my performance, but it means that I will not allow myself to be defeated; that I trust that what I am doing is refining me and those around me somehow. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I know I am not competing alone!  Press on!

Mini - 1500 meter Series Update

I believe I am due for a racing update. I am currently in Indianapolis waiting for my third and final race of my “Mini 1500 M series.” I raced last Saturday in Boston and ran a 4.20.9. As I had mentioned in my previous blog, it was very rainy, so not ideal conditions, but I was pleased with how I competed. After completing the race, I knew I needed to make sure lap 2 and 3 moved, and had confidence that I would be able to put it all together in Indianapolis.

After arriving in Indianapolis, I was none but thrilled to see that the race entries were very competitive, and there would be a rabbit that would take the leaders through at a 2:12 for the first 800 Meters. I planned to come through at 2:14, and be right off of them and then focus on closing well. In reality, I had a better first half than last week; I came through at 2:16, but had a hard time closing. After the race, I was very frustrated (for lack of better term). Some of the girls in my race ran qualifying times to go on to the Trials, and it really stung to realize that I missed out on a sweet opportunity to reach that goal.

A good night sleep, lots of love and support from people around me, and a simple, but encouraging phone call from my oldest sister Bekah helped to make me feel encouraged and excited to race again with confidence on Saturday. First, a huge shout out and thank you to my sister, Annie, and my boyfriend, Dan, for driving all ten hours to cheer me on in my race! I am so blessed to have people that are so supportive. It was a small glimpse of God our Father’s love when I received a hug and a reminder that they love me no matter how I raced. Today, Dan and Annie spent this morning with Jamie Cheever and I. We went to a delicious breakfast café on the canal in Indianapolis and then they hit the long road home. Later, Bekah, my other sister called. We had a brief conversation, but she really encouraged me. She reminded me of some of my workouts the past few weeks; how some went really well, and how some went really not-so-well. Some days you feel great, while other days, just are not as fluid as one would hope. To clarify, I acknowledge that my race yesterday really was not horrible. It was actually the second fastest time I have ever run, but I was just hoping for more. Thus, I have to believe, that yesterday was not my perfect race, and I am ready to step to the line again on Saturday for one more attempt at qualifying for the Olympic Trials!

In the mean time, I get to hang out here in Indianapolis with Jamie Cheever and recover from yesterday, and prepare for Saturday. In the Picture above, you can see us doing one of our favorite activities, Ice Bathing! When we are not ice bathing, we are trying to be very creative with how we spend out time in Indianapolis without a car.... I am so grateful for her companionship! In a future blog, I plan to share with you some of our recent escapades:)

Race Day

I am ready for my fist 1500 race here in Boston. It looks like there is a really great field. I am just waiting on this rainy day for 7:50 PM to arrive! I have had a great trip thus far. I got to stay with an old High School friend, Beth Ohrt last night. It was so fun to jump back in her life and get a glimpse of the Boston lifestyle. I was very proud of myself for navigating my through Boston using Public Transportation…until I realized this morning I never called my parents and they were very worried…enough to trace all of my phone calls and contact everyone that might have heard from me! I guess I am not as independent as I would like to think:) 

Today I am staying with another runner, Joanna Murphy, who has been so generous to let me stay with her. It is so fun to get to stay with other runners and hear about their lifestyle and training regime. I am always encouraged and inspired to keep training when I am surrounded by other passionate runners. I hope that I can host athletes that come to race in Minnesota. The invitation is always open!

            I just finished visualizing my race, which I believe you can watch live on FloTrack at 7:50 ET. Here are the words of affirmation I plan to focus on during each lap of the race.

Lap 1: COURAGEOUS ~“Be strong and of good courage, be not frightened nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you may go.” Josh. 1:9

Lap 2: I am strong and Confident ~ “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the Earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint!”  Isaiah 40:28- 31

Lap 3: I am tough and will stand firm~ "Therefore, my dear brothers, Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Cor. 15:58 

Lap 4: I am a FIGHTER! “I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith, I have finished the race!” 2 Tim. 4:7

Here is a link to the meet website: NB Boston Twilight